LSOF: ” Have a little faith in me”- God

LSOF: ” Have a little faith in me “

Luke 17:6 (NIV)
“If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you. “

My head laid there on the couch pillow looking out the window to a dreary day, my eyes were fresh from tears, and my heart felt like it had not only been broken, but stepped on until maybe a little piece remained.

” I’d let the world do this to me. ” I said to myself.

I had never been like most people; I go the extra mile to do what I can to help make a difference in their day.

Somehow it backfired in my face.

I was upset, because people that I so dearly cared for, and had been there for a dozen times, were not there when I really needed someone to talk to, when I just needed a shoulder.

I was upset, because though I knew I show great integrity with my job, yet still being let go, I didn’t have another one lined up.

It was hopeless.

I spend the entire day of just starting, and the tears just pouring. I wanted God to just take me, because I couldn’t see ahead.

My mom handed me the phone, and a good friend was on the other line. I really didn’t want to talk, I couldn’t have the conversation without bawling, because the suffering was real, and I could no longer put on an act, the emotion took over my sound mind.

I decided that I would go up north for the summer until school started, and just be as far away from here as possible, run away for a little bit, but not forever.

I made the ticket reservations, and text messaged some people to let them know I was going and when I’d be back.

I got a text message back from an old manager, that has stayed in contact with me over the last couple years, ” I am going to need you to work before then.”

I stared wide-eyed at the screen, and could only replyl, ” really?” and her reply was to call at 10:30pm.

I found out that she knew how badly I needed a job, and she told me that I always worked so great for her, that she pushed to get my application approved to be hired.

I said to God in my heart, ” You must have known” as if I actually had to say that!

The truth was, He did know, He knew very well how much hurting I have been through my entire life to this point. He is my beginning, and He is the now and end.

How is it we forget too easily that we have such a big God?

The answer is simple, because we out our faith in other things, without realizing it, or we make them idols without knowing it.

I remember just wanting someone to reach out, to be there when I needed them. When I got that phone call from my friend though, I didn’t feel any different. She wasn’t Jesus.

Beth Moore, spoke on this almost exact thing on Life Today this morning.

We may not call people Jesus, but we act like they are sometimes.

When you’ve been in a pit in your life, its hard to know how to see people, because you rarely experienced positive role models in your life.

I am 26yrs old, and those people that were there all through my young adult years, I almost feel like God is saying to me, ” They have led you, now let me.”

I am sure Beth had to have come to a point like that in her life, and if you are reading this you probably have to.

We all are being discipled, but just like Jesus, God will start to pull away not remove, just pull away, those people that have always been there. Always had the advice, always prayed in our place.

I will admit to you, that I was not only upset, but angry yesterday. When it comes down to it.
People are people, they will let us down, because they are not JESUS!

So if you may be reading this, as one of those people that know me, I want to apologize, because my focus now is going to be on God, and though I may need Godly counsel from good hearts, I will ask when I know for sure, I am to do so.

I gotta tell ya, this whole adult life, whole adult Christian life, there never is a dull moment;
God will just keep stretching us, until we can’t be stretched no more.

Amen to that!

4 thoughts on “LSOF: ” Have a little faith in me”- God

  1. We are so much alike it’s eerie. Ok, so I know I said I would do homework instead of blogs tonight, but I just couldn’t help myself. Hi, my name is Kathryn and I am an addict. My last blog was tonight at 9:45…I’m so ashamed! lol kidding, kidding I just love my Jesus loving friends so much I can’t stay away. :DWow, so wow. lol That is sooo awesome…God just likes to show out when we least expects it! That’s an awesome testimony for me as my job will be ending soon because of my company’s divestiture. It stinks! And while my anxiety levels shoot through the roof, they always seem to be met with a peace that God will take care of me and lead me in the right direction.Life Today comes on at 6am here and when it begins I know it’s time to leave for work, but I record it, and Beth has been on all week (confession: I was late for work Mon & Tues ’cause I couldn’t peel myself away from the tube)…anyway, I record them so I can watch them later, so I will have to run upstairs and watch it.I’m not much for advice giving, but I got your back on the prayer thing. There are some things I just can’t write online, but trust me…I know the feeling of abandonment & dispair all too well…and the thoughts that the enemy brings to take us out. You are sooo loved of God! And I think you’re pretty awesome too! :DAnd next time you’re thinking of heading north…veer to the west a bit, stop by, and we’ll head to the mountains for some cabin time…woo hoo.


  2. I saw your comment on the LPM blog. I am so glad that the Lord allowed you to see that He is more than enough! It has been my prayer that God would remind me that when others let me down it is an opportunity to come to Him and allow Him to tend to me and meet my needs. If others had not failed me I would not know of His unfailing love. Glad to read your blog sister!


  3. How very nice to meet you Angie! I love your blog…I am glad that God brought Beth’s talk to you today. He is indeed a timely God! We are headed to the panhandle of Florida the first week of July. I love the beach! And I’m with Kate! Come on over to Colorado sometime….turns out Kate is not very far from me at all. Small world when it’s full of Sistas, huh?Blessings on ya, Girl!In His joy,HollyPS I’ll stop back soon!


  4. What an important–but difficult–lesson to learn! I have sure had some moments like that as well, Sister! So glad God is encouraging your heart and lined up some work for you when you needed it. He is so good! Thanks for sharing your journey.


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