Something I have encountered over the last few months is that when you grow in your faith, things around you take on different scenery all together!
Its New Years Eve guys:)
My mom told me last night that she had saw something on the history channel about how no one has any account of Jesus between the age of 12-30yrs.
I told her that God shows us there is a time and place for everything and Jesus’s ministry probably would not have been as strong as a young person, and the disciples would have been too young to really make any dent on the world’s thoughts and actions.
It made me think of a cartoon I saw as a child; the heroes are turned into children by some evildoer.
They were powerless to fight, and they were very naive.
I mean Jesus did in a sense begin His ministry as a child, when he couldn’t be found for a few days, but as in all things, it was God’s place to give that glimpse as to what would come.
The worship pastor told me several years ago that he saw something I had left in the prayer center; somekind of encouraging note I guess, and he told his wife, ” God is about to unravel something big in her.” Something alone those lines.
I have dealt with many years of not feeling like I had a place within the church, within anykind of ministry.
I saw people from my own youth group, much younger than I become apart of ministries.
I would just stand there.
God showed me that I have always had to work harder to accomplish things in life, and He also showed me that if I was really going to live this thing for Him, it wouldn’t be any easier.
As a child, I had to try harder to have friends; be acknowledged in school by my teachers; To even be heard when I was trying to speak. Anything I wanted to have in life would always be that way.
God had a plan the entire time though.
I mean I know a lot of it was me, because of my personality, but a lot of it was getting me prepared for this part of life too.
People that knew me as a child, they would say I was very quiet, and when I did speak I would be asked to speak up. I was very shy, and I was very unsure of everything around me.
I guess the feeling of not being good enough, just resinated within me.
Anyhow, I wasn’t part of the ” In Crowd” and I knew I never would be.
I have this thing about how I work; I choose the hardest and heaviest jobs at work to do,
and I don’t do my best, unless I am in a tough department.
I get lazy when it comes to just doing something easier, and that goes for a lot of things in life.
I want to hardest position in something possible.
I don’t know if you have ever seen ” American Beauty”, and I am not encouraging it, but I will tell you that I did a Psychoanalysis on the movie for an English paper.
I was asked to pick any topic for my paper, and I chose a Psycholanalysis.
I had never taken a Psychology class in my life, but I felt I needed to challenge myself.
And just like difficult things in life; come difficult people.
Sometimes you can come to your wits end with them.
My transition from child to adult was a tough one, and I know many people that are the closest to me knew that.
Over a span of these last 10 yrs, I have been on the roller coaster of emotions, and just trying to get what all of this is about.
I know that I was not extremely annoying, but I do know that there were some people that probably got tired of me. I was young, and I was searching for something to fill a void in my life.
And God didn’t fill it right away.
I saw a friend of mine at church yesterday, and it was obvious that she had been crying.
This same friend I literally felt God pull me away from awhile.
She’s a lot older than me, and has a different life then me.
And God showed me that she wasn’t going to Him, and she was expecting me to be there constantly.
I am not anybody’s savior, and I don’t want to be.
I had another friend who would constantly be in an out of mental hospitals.
Folks, I realize people like this exist in your life, but I have to tell you that you can not let them be the focus of your time and energy.
I was so worried about these people that I wasn’t finding time for myself.
Now that I have a boyfriend, training for youth leader, and will be starting school in a couple weeks, my time is limited.
It took me an hour to write out a friends’ Christmas card this year; its just so much coming at me right now.
God makes the time though, He always will make the time that we need.
For myself, I don’t call Mark until I get to work most of the time, or until I get home.
We all need at least a half hour to relax and reflect on God.
We need sometime to let Him speak back to us.
I don’t think we really realize how vital it is to our well-being.
I just pictured in my mind the oven, and how you set the timer to bake a cake.
If you don’t pay attention to it, or even set it, it will affect the health of the cake.
It will either be taken out to soon, or it will burn.
I don’t know about you, but I would like to let God have control of the timer.
I encourage you to think of so many places in the bible where God used ” time” to support His plan.
1 Corinthians 5
“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. “